


That Booty is Divine

by TheLanceShow



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bathroom Fun, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Funny, I Don't Even Know, Implied Relationships, Implied Shance, M/M, No Smut, Pining Shiro (Voltron), Underwear, how does one tag, keith - Freeform, low key a little sexual, no not sexual, shance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 04:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10677783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLanceShow/pseuds/TheLanceShow
Summary: Lance is stuck wearing bootyshorts in the bathroom.





	That Booty is Divine

**Author's Note:**

> Very small drabble with IMPLIED SHANCE because I have no self control

Lance stood in the bathroom, avoiding looking at his reflection. Goddammit, Allura. May she be condemned to rot in the deepest pit of Hell.

What made the situation worse? There were no stalls in the boy's restroom. Now, why is this Allura's fault?

Lance was stuck wearing bootyshorts in the bathroom because Allura just so happened to forget that her class had a chemistry lab.

Don't wanna burn your legs with acid, right, dear sister of mine?

So Lance, being the great person that he is, switched pants with Allura so she could  _participate._

Then the first person to walk in on Lance sitting in a corner gasped and laughed. No way in Hell a McClain would be laughed at without dignity.

Lance stood from his crouch and walked to the offending male whom continued to snort.

"The fuck you laughin' at?" Lance smiled innocently. He had a good four inches on the guy and backed the dude up against the tiled wall. "Is there something funny that I'm missing?"

"N-No."

Lance usually joked around, all smiles and sunshine.

But holy shit, he could he could be scary if he wanted to.

In probably the oddest way to intimidate someone, Lance lifted his long leg and slammed it into the wall, next to the boy's head; he flinched.

Lance grinned again, mocking. "Leave. I don't care if you piss yourself. Buh-bye." He let his leg fall down to the floor and watched as the boy scurried from the bathroom.

**Lance:**

**Pidge help rn**

**Stuck in boys bathroom wearing bootyshorts**

**Pidgy:**

**AHAHAHAHA**

**LANCE**

**SEND A PIC**

Lance sighed; he should've expected wickedness from his dear little friend. He pointed the camera at the mirror and cringed. He was hoping his jacket would cover him to his thighs. He was wrong. 

Putting on his snapback, he pursed his lips and threw a peace sign and took the picture. He was already regretting it as he sent it to Pidge.

**Pidgy:**

**Might be mY NEW SCREENSAVER**

**GOLD**

**Lance:**

**Pidge I s2g**

**I'll change your name to The Holt**

**DELETE AND SEND HELP**

**KEITH OR SHIRO**

**Pidgy:**

**Why don't you have their numbers?**

**Lance:**

**I was mad at them and deleted their numbers,,,**

**Pidgy:**

**They're on their way**

**SAVED THAT PIC BTW**

Lance locked his phone with a growl and put it on the sink. He leaned forward and kept his head down as another wave of people came. About 12 minutes after they left, a pair of boys walked in. They were whispering and it suddenly stopped as they saw Lance.

"Uh," a familiar voice started. "Why is a girl in the boy's bathroom."

"Keith, that's a dude with a tight ass, have some respect." 

Lance tensed with the boost towards his ego. His eyes snapped towards the mirror, making eye contact with Shiro and Keith, blue eyes meeting dark violet and gray. They both wore looks of embarrassment and horror.

Lance flipped the snapback off and turned towards them, running a hand through his hair. "Thanks for the compliment- did you not bring pants?"

Shiro was still blatantly red, but Keith's cheeks were just a smidge pink. "Why would we bring pants?"

Lance stared. "Pidge told you to come here, right?"

"Yeah," answered Shiro, still avoiding eye contact.

"Shiro, if you want a strip tease, just ask. And! Did she not tell you why?"

Keith raised his eyebrows and showed Lance their conversation.

**Kiddy:**

**Go to the bathroom right now**

**Keith:**

**Why?**

**Kiddy:**

**Don't ask questions, it'll be worth it  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

"You didn't put up a bigger fight?" Lance groaned. "C'mon, man! I need pants."

Shiro shrugged, "I don't have a problem with it." He realized what he said and rubbed between his eyebrows.

"Just ask, Shiro."

"You might as well walk around in boxers." Keith said.

"I doubt anyone wants to see," Lance pulled the shorts down with a flourish. "This!"

Shiro covered his eyes and Keith's eyes widened. He pulled the shorts back up.

Lance was wearing Deadpool boxer-briefs, showing the world what he had to offer. He eyed the oddly, extremely baggy jeans Shiro was wearing. It was uncharacteristic but...

"Unzip your pants, Shiro."

"Excuse me, what?" He had decided to just not look at Lance at all.

"You're taking me home with you. Unzip 'em." Lance demanded. He decided he would squeeze into Shiro's pants with him.

Keith rolled his eyes. "Go home with Allura."

Lance leveled a glare at Keith. "Different moms, different houses. Shiro, unzip!"

Shiro gave Lance a blank stare and Lance threw his hands in the air. His phone vibrated.

**Keef:**

**Shiro :)**

**Has :))**

**A :)))**

**Crush :))))**

**On :)))))**

**YOU :))))))**

**Lance:**

**IT'S HIS LUCKY DAY AMIRITE**

**Keef:**

**For fuck's sake, dude**

**Just...**

**Don't lead him on**

**Lance:**

**Why would I lead someone on that I**

**Nevermind**

Keith looked at Lance, suspicious. Lance stared at Shiro, dead serious. "I can open them for you. Don't think I won't."

Shiro scoffed and folded his arms across his chest. "You wouldn't dare."

It was a challenge. 

A-ho-ho-ho.

"Shiro-" Keith started.

"You are looking at the boy who stripped in front of the vice principal on a dare." Lance smiled at Shiro, eyes hooded. "Who wouldn't strip a hot dude?"

Lance had reached Shiro and they held eye contact. He put his fingers into the belt loops of Shiro's pants. "Try me," he breathed, and pulled their bodies together, almost flush against each other. Shiro finally had to close his eyes, face the color of Keith's jacket.

Keith watched the exchange with second hand embarrassment. Did they...? No, not possible. Lance couldn't...

With surprising speed, Lance stripped of his sneakers, shorts, and jacket, and shoved them into his bookbag. He unbuckled Shiro's pants and managed to shuffle into his _way-too-fucking-loose_ jeans with him.

"Thought we were going to need lube." Shiro muttered. Lance full-out blushed heavily, so much that both Keith and a confused Shiro could see it.

"Oh, thank God," Keith put his hands on his knees and pretended to hyperventilate. "I thought y'all were gonna go front to front." Keith caught his mistake too late and threw his head back. "Fuck."

Lance aimed a cocky smirk at him and said with a southern accent, "Y'aint got no Texas toast if y'all don't let me herd them cows."

"I was ten!"

"No excuses!"

 

* * *

 

It was an odd sight, the four of them walking together. 

Shiro and Lance were barely managing; Shiro was panting, sweating, and his face was flushed. Lance tried his damn best to keep in sync with Shiro, his face also red from, well... something you can imagine.

Hunk had walked with them for a few seconds before saying, "Nope, I'm going home, bye."

Lance had been yelling ridiculous phrases in a Texan accent, such as "Y'all best've dimmed those goddamn lights before I make y'all milk the cows!"

Pidge began to sing, "Baby lock the door and turn the lights down low!" Lance soon joined in with, "Put some music on that's soft and slow!"

Even Shiro began to laugh and sing.

"How do you guys even know the lyrics?" Keith mumbled, struggling to carry Lance's, Shiro's, and his own bookbag.

"We went through your playlist for shits 'n' giggles." Lance and Pidge said at the same time, chuckling and high-fiving each other.

At one point, Allura walked by them fast, screaming, "When you try your best but you don't succeed..."

In unison, Keith, Lance, Pidge, and Shiro yelled, from the top of their lungs, "When you get what you want but not you need!"

Yes, they all realized as they made their way to where the buses sat, that a better solution could've been made. Simply calling Lance's mother would have solved things. But either way, they had fun together.

 

Pidge really did make that photo of Lance her background and screensaver.


End file.
